Freedom

It's amazing how freeing it is to have an extended period of time by yourself, when you're pretty much constantly with other people.

And, ultimately, how utterly boring.

The Boy is with his dad until tomorrow night, and Aaron is working tonight and then leaving for a conference right after and will be gone for a few days.

I know I should be productive, but I can't be bothered. There's chores to be done, and stuff to be gone through to make more room, but I just can't get it up to do ANYTHING.

I haven't been this lazy in a LONG time, and, in a weird and sadistic way, feels really, really good.

I'll do all this stuff tomorrow.

Today's Run

There was no running on Thursday because it was the Kindergarten Roundup at The Boy's soon-to-be school that night.  As I've said before, I love running but I love The Boy more.  And this is huge - my baby is starting school in the fall!  Anyway, today was the long run of the week - 1 hour, 50 minutes.  First off, I forgot to wear my compression socks, and my calves are letting me know that still hours later. Other than that the run was really good.  It was warm out, we were going at a really good, easy pace, and there was a lot of good conversation.  Today I ran 11.75 miles in 1:50:00, for an average pace of 9:21.  Almost 200 miles so far this year!

Small things

I have been spending a lot of time the last few days thinking about three words. Three simple words that, in reality, should not be so powerful. Three simple words, when taken in the concept of a marriage, or in any relationship, carry all the power in the world.

Trust.

Faith.

Hope.

I will be the first person to admit that it takes a lot for me to trust someone. There have been many times when I have placed my trust in someone only to get burned, or hurt, or have my heart broken almost beyond repair. To open my heart again to trust Aaron was both the hardest and easiest thing I have ever done. Hardest from those seeds of doubt that come from being hurt before and not wanting to be hurt again. Easiest in that he has earned my trust with his words and his deeds, with the love we have for each other.

Which leads to the next word: faith. To have faith in another person is to blindly believe in their goodness, their humanity. Faith that he will do the right thing in that moment, for both people as individuals and as a couple. Faith in the fact that it will all turn out OK in the end. Having faith in a person is much more difficult for me, much more so than being able to trust. Faith is unquestioning, when I always have questions. This is the word I have been thinking about the most; I don't know if I have truly had faith in Aaron all along, but spending a long time thinking and soul searching over the past few days I have come to the conclusion that, yes, I do have faith in him. It is a weight lifted off my shoulders to fully realize I have faith in him.

And with this faith, I now have hope. Hope that we will have an amazing life together. Hope that our whole family will be happy and healthy. Hope that, no matter what is thrown our way, we will persevere and be stronger on the end.

Three small words. But with a huge impact on my life.

Today's Run

Another cold, windy run. It's almost April, so hopefully things will turn around soon... Today's workout was another speed one, 25 minutes brisk, 10 jog, and finish with 25 brisk. The run back was HARD, straight into a freezing wind.  But overall it was a pretty good run.  Today I ran 6.92 miles in 60 minutes, for an average pace of 8:40.  Conveniently my goal race pace :-)

A love letter of sorts

Dear City of Duluth Public Works People,

I know it's hard to do a thankless job, one that has more people giving you the one-finger-salute rather than a friendly wave.  It is especially difficult in a winter like this one, where we've gotten about fifty billion feet of snow (give or take, I gave up measuring a long time ago) and the freeze-you-to-the-bone cold, where even the heartiest of winter folk are saying "Enough already!"

I am taking this opportunity, albeit on my personal blog, to say how much I appreciate what you do.  It was made especially apparent this morning on my group run at the crack of dawn.  You see, with the 6 inches of wet, heavy snow that we got yesterday, I was extremely pessimistic about the potential state of the Lakewalk when I got up this morning. I don't even think my road was plowed before really late last night.  But when we started our run, and got to the actual Lakewalk (the sidewalk and bridge to the Lakewalk are another story) we were pleasantly surprised to find actual pavement.

That's right - the Lakewalk was plowed to the point where there was very little snow left on the asphalt, and where there was ice it was in the usual suspect areas.  And it wasn't even just in the heavily traveled areas by the lake; the path was pretty much clear all the way to SuperOne.

So I would just like to say "Thank You."  Thank you for going out there and plowing the Lakewalk, even though it's a thankless job.  Thank you on behalf of all the crazy folk that still go out and run when it's freezing cold outside.

You guys rock. Keep up the good work.

Today's Run

I think I got spoiled on Thursday when it was so nice out.  This morning had wind chills below 0F again, and I could just not warm up at all. Good thing it was a long, easy run, and a recovery long run at that after last week's 1:45:00 run.  And we did a good job of keeping it slow and easy too.  Today I ran 9.45 miles in 1:29:09 (my watch wouldn't connect to satellites this morning and so I started a bit after everyone else in my group), for an average pace of 9:26.

Happy First Day of Spring (kinda)!

It's been a couple of days - miss me? Things have been pretty hectic the last couple of days, and I feel like I'm coming down with some sort of plague or another, so making a post was pretty low on my priority list.

The calendar says it's officially the first day of spring, which is pretty awesome. The feet of snow on the ground and the forecast of a couple of inches more tomorrow say otherwise...

Weather aside, I am excited for this spring to get going. I want to see green. I want to hear birds other than the cawing of those damn crows. I want to plant herbs and vegetables. I want to be able to send the boys outside to play in the yard and not spend hours bundling them up. I know they are looking forward to playing in the creek and digging in the dirt and doing other boy things.

Most of all, I am excited to be starting a new chapter in my life. All the planning stresses aside, getting married to the most amazing, kind, caring, and loving man is going to be the highlight of this spring. And with just over two months to go, I am finding myself especially calm today, and overjoyed with the possibilities of the future.

I just hope this feeling lasts. Being stressed out sucks.

Sunday's Run

I can just hear it now - "What?!?! Erin ran on Sunday?!?!" I realized a while ago that I really need to add at least a fourth day of running each week, and since I go to the Y on Sundays to lift I figured it would be a good opportunity to get in a short, easy run.  So this past Sunday I did my lifting and core work, and then hopped on the dreadmill for a little bit.  On Sunday I ran 2.07 miles in 20 minutes, for an average pace of 9:40 (about a minute slower than my goal race pace). It was surprisingly easy, and I was only normal tired when I was done.

Tuesday's Run

Now, Tuesday was a pretty crummy day weather-wise.  The forecast was for at least a foot of snow Tuesday into Wednesday, so when I woke up in the morning I decided there was no way I was going to make it downtown with the crazy amount of snow and had given up on making it to running group. Well, the snow-pocolypse didn't happen, and there was no way I could justify not running because of 2 inches of snow on the ground, so I packed up The Boy, dropped him off at his dad's, and went to running group. The workout for Tuesday was supposed to be speed work, but you just can't run fast with slushy mushy snow; the workout was modified to just "get out there and run 40 minutes and don't freeze to death." So that's what I did.  On Tuesday I ran 4.51 miles in 40 minutes, for an average pace of 8:53. The path was pretty gross, but I made it back safe and sound.

Today's Run

What a difference two days make! Today was really nice out - sunny, warmish, no snow. So back to the speed work! Today's workout was 15 minutes brisk, 5 minutes jog repeated 3 times. Today I ran 6.95 miles in 60 minutes, for an average pace of 8:37.  Definitely speeding up!

Briefly

A few things I learned today:

• Younkers sale prices + Goodwill coupon + lucky find in sales rack = Awesome steal
• Binge watching "Parenthood" is pretty depressing.  But that show is AMAZING.
• Running 105 minutes is exhausting, so much so that I straight passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.  When I didn't even want to fall asleep.
• Flowers are EXPENSIVE!

Overall, it was a really good day today.

Today's Run

While driving to running group, I realized that today's scheduled run was a little more than two minutes shorter than the time it took my to finish the half marathon last summer.  That was pretty heady - that a TRAINING run was barely shorter in time than what it took me to finish a RACE.  And this isn't the longest I'll be running before the full marathon this summer.  It's hard wrapping my head around that concept.   Today I ran 11.45 miles in 1:45:00, for an average pace of 9:10.  A little too fast for an easy, long run, but it felt pretty good.

Optimism!

You will never guess what I saw today....

Look very closely...

 

Do you see it? That green stuff? On the ground?

 

That's right - it's grass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ok, granted this was growing right next to a pipe that's been carrying 120F+ wastewater all winter.  But it counts, right?

 

I am taking this as a sign that spring is finally here!  If only in limited places.

 

Today's Run

Today's workout was 15 minutes jog, 30 minutes brisk, and we only ended up doing a 5 minute cool down (was supposed to be 10).  But running friend Ben and I totally rocked the brisk running with an 8:20 pace for the first full mile and an 8:10 pace for the second full mile that we decided we could cut it short.  That, and I miscalculated where we should turn around and ended up back 5 minutes early.  But it was an awesome run.  Today I ran 5.63 miles in 50:00, for an average pace of 8:53. 

If I could control one thing...

Waking up to it snowing - again - this morning was, to put it bluntly, crap.  I am so done with winter.  It can end any day now. Yes, I realize I live about 9/10ths of the way to the North Pole, but enough is enough already.

I am sure the people further south agree with me.

And, yes, I know I can't control the weather.  It is not something that I should get overly anxious over.  But it's either the weather, or wedding planning stuff, and the weather doesn't give me mini-panic attacks.

So weather it is.

Suck it, Old Man Winter.  I'm done.

Don't we have enough already?

Yesterday's Run

Yesterday was glorious and amazing, on so many different levels.  First of all, no snow.  Bonus.  Secondly, nice temperature. Thirdly, mostly clear pavement, with minimal puddles.  Awesome.  And last, but not least, I totally kicked major butt.  Yesterday's workout was more speed work: 5 minute warmup, followed by 800 meters at goal race pace, then 2 minute jog with 1200 meters at race pace, then 3 minute jog with 1600 meters at goal race pace, and then repeat one more time on the way back.  I will admit that for the faster parts I went faster than my ultimate goal race pace of 8:40 (the average pace needed to finish the full marathon in 3:40), but I felt really pretty good averaging between 8:15 and 8:30.  Was a lot hard on the last 1600 meters, but I still felt so good when I was done.  And I am super duper jealous of the Shiny of my new running friend Cassie - apparently they make a new Garmin where you can program in the workouts, and it tells you when you're supposed to change pace, AND it tells you when you're going too fast or too slow... Oh well, just need to save up for another fancy toy.  Yesterday I ran 6.58 miles in 57:50, for an average pace of 8:47.  And, if I didn't mention it before, my NEW shoes have over 100 miles on them. Already. Looks like I'll need to save up for new shoes soon too....

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe

When I bought my house a year and a half ago, it was the perfect little house for me and The Boy.  It was in a good neighborhood, the yard was really nice, it was just big enough for us and our stuff.  Sure, there were some less than desirable things about it, like the sewer that needed to be replaced right away, and the ugly plastic cabinets in the kitchen, but it was livable, and more importantly it was home.

Now.... well, now it's still home, but on those days when chaos reigns it feels like the walls are closing in.  It feels like the stuff is crowding in on me and I just can't breathe.  And don't even get me started about the mess.

This house isn't ideal anymore, but it is still home, and we're making it work for now.  There is no doubt in my mind that we'll have to get something bigger sometime soon (boys don't stop growing after all), and when the time comes to move out of this house I will definitely feel sad.  I will mourn my first house.

But I will be moving somewhere that fits my new family, this rowdy bunch that have moved into my life, and my heart.

Today's Run

Today was a long run on the Lakewalk.  With the warmer weather some of the snow has been melting, but with no where for the water to go, and the cold temperatures at night, there was a LOT of icy patches on the run this morning.  Running partner Ben and I even ventured out into the road to run, it was that precarious. But the run was good.  Today we ran 9.57 miles in 1:30:00 (yes - 90 minutes today!), for an average pace of 9:24.  This was the first week I ran more than 20 miles in a very, very long time, and it was pretty good.

Dear, sweet chaos...

Looking back, having one kid is easy. It's more than easy, it's practically heaven... Compared to having three monsters that want to eat your soul.

I will admit, I'm probably exaggerating a little bit. But not really. I was told by a very wise man that having three kids is like having the makings for fire - one is the fuel, one is oxygen, and the third is the ignition.

Very wise indeed.

I think my biggest hurdle with this new dynamic is that it's instantaneous big kids. There's no getting used to the new dynamic with a tiny baby, having a couple of years to gain coping mechanisms for dealing with the beasts.

But then again there's no late night feedings or excessive poopy diapers. At least I have that going for me.

Thank the heavens for running and running group. I think that is the main thing keeping me sane. That, and Barbado's support, because this is old hat for him.

The poor bastard. :-)

Yesterday's Run

Yesterday was another interval training run - 10 minutes jogging, 1 mile brisk run, 3 minutes jog, 2 mile run, 5 minute jog, 1 mile run, then cool down jog to the beginning.  Unlike Tuesday's run, yesterday's run was AWESOME!  I felt good during the run, and even after.  And even though there was a lot more jogging with this workout, my running partner Ben and I went slightly farther in about the same, time, which is just, you guessed it, awesome.  Yesterday I ran 6.56 miles in 61:00, for an average pace of 9:17.  And now for tomorrow's long run...

It's confirmed - I am DEFINITELY crazy

It's ten weeks into the running group training program, and things are definitely getting more intense.  Granted, last year I was following the half marathon program and not the full marathon program, but even my running group friends admit this year is just MORE.

Today is one of those days where I am questioning the wisdom of signing up to do a full marathon.  My feet hurt.  My knees hurt.  I am just exhausted.  And tonight was only 60 minutes.

Will I be ready to do a 20 mile training run?

Will I be ready to actually do this thing?

Today's Run

As I said above, today's run was a total of 60 minutes - 25 minutes brisk, 10 minutes jogging, and finishing with 25 minutes brisk.  Even with slightly slick footing, and it getting pretty dark in the end, I ended up running a total of 6.54 miles, for an average pace of 9:10.  The brisk pace on the way out averaged about a 9:00 pace, and the brisk back averaged closer to 8:45.  So yay me!  But I still feel like I've lost my mind...

You may be right, I may be crazy...

It takes a special sort of someone to voluntarily go outside when it is below 0F outside. It takes an even rarer beast to voluntarily go outside when it's below 0F and go running. I guess I am that rare beast.

When I signed Barbado and myself up for a fun run to be held on March 1st, the idea that it would be frostbite-inducing cold on that date didn't even cross my mind. So when I woke up Saturday morning, and saw the forecast for the day was a high of 0F with a wind chill warning for the whole day (where you could get frostbite in 20 minutes or less) I seriously questioned the wisdom in participating in a fun run outside.

In the end, Barbado and I decided to participate in the 3rd Annual Mustache March Run. This is a 2.65 mile fun run on the Lakewalk where it is (essentially) required that you sport a mustache of some sort. I think mine is much better.

Post-run.  I look smashing with a grey 'stache.

Thoughts on this run:

• There was a HUGE turnout considering how ungodly cold it was out. Which is pretty awesome.
• At $25, the entry fee was a little steep for a fun run. But part of the proceeds went to Wildwoods, a non-profit that aids injured wild animals, so that was pretty cool.
• Instead of a t-shirt, you get a pint glass as swag. AND a beanie. Both of which are pretty cool looking. And more usable than a t-shirt. So bonus on the swag.
• Finally, there was a ton of awesome prizes awarded randomly for participating in the run, and the best mustaches got a prize as well. Barbado won a gift card to Duluth Running Company, which I covet greatly. Oh, and you got a free pint at Pizza Luce too.

Would I do this fun run again? Possibly. The only negatives were the weather, which can't be controlled, and the entry fee, which made up for itself if you won a prize. So I guess it will come down to how I'm feeling next February as to whether I will do this one again.

Yesterday's Runs

That's right - runs PLURAL.  In the morning, when it was a blustery -8F outside (with wind chill to boot) I went on my normal Saturday group run.  Since I knew I was going to be out in the evening running/jogging again, I decided to do the shorter workout.  In the morning I ran 4.54 miles in 40:00, for an average pace of 8:48.

In the evening, at the balmy temp of 0F outside (still with wind chills), I did the Mustache March Run.  This one I purposely stayed with Barbado, since this was his first week back into running and he's a trooper for agreeing to do this with me. Needless to say, there was a bit of walking involved, but much less than I had anticipated, which is pretty awesome for him.  In the evening I walked/jogged 2.65 miles in 27:17, for an average pace of 10:17.  Kinda messes with my average pace for the year, but it was a LOT of fun and I'm glad I decided to keep pace with the honey.  Even though he cut me off at the end and claims he won.